What If's

What if Snow White wasn't really a super smooth, super fair-skinned maiden but a woman suffering from albinism and psoriasis?

What if the Seven Dwarves were not actually the dwarves we know in fairy tales or mythologies but some men suffering from pituitary gland malfunctioning?

What if Sleeping Beauty wasn't really in a stupor because of a witch's curse but in a coma after she accidentally stepped on a bar of soap on the bathroom floor, slid, and bumped her head on the wall?

What if Cinderella wasn't really the owner of the glass slippers but just claimed them as her own because she wanted to marry the prince so badly to instantly get rich?

What if Rapunzel's hair were not really that naturally ultra long but just mere fake extensions done in a salon just to impress the prince and lure him to her tower so that she could have some kinky moments with him?

What if Humpty Dumpty's fall was purposely done by his bestfriend because the latter got jealous after learning that his name wasn't included in the famous nursery rhyme?

What if Jack's magical beans were not really magical but some sort of mutated peas genetically modified by visiting alien lifeforms from Mars?

What if Little Mermaid's loss of voice wasn't really the sea witch's doing but a result of laryngeal cancer due to excessive and chronic smoking of an illegal seaweed?

What if Hansel and Gretel were really spoiled brats and that after eating the old hag's candy house pushed the poor old woman on the boiling cauldron and spreaded the news that she's a cannibal so that their mischief would not be discovered?

What if Rumpelstiltskin wasn't really interested in the Queen's baby but just suffering from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder?

What if Little Red Riding Hood's grandma wasn't really swallowed by the wolf but that grandma was the wolf herself because she possess the ability of lycantrophy?

What if I'll just go to the kitchen right now and fix myself a supper so that my brain cells will stop disintegrating totally and stop all these delusional inquiries?

Yeah, I think I better should.

Email Metaphor

My first email, I created it when I was 18, was jimlynx@another.com. The name was the combination of my nickname "Jim" and of "Lynx" which is a specie of a wild ferocious cat and happens to be my codename when I was an officer of the Citizen Army Training (CAT) during my last year in high school. I kind of like the combination of the two because it represented my shy and covert personality; and the sleeping ferocious "inner me" which is ambitious, idealistic, tough, self-determined, and bold. I used it since then and eventually got tired of it when I entered my early twenties.

The next email I created and use for my fancy was when I reached twenty. The email was lestat(with numbers attached but sadly I have forgotten it)@yahoo.com. My "young adult" life was very turbulent at that time. I was starting to ask for the purpose of my existence at that point in my life and the "meaninglessness" of life ended by death suddenly had an impact on me that I suffered mild depression. It was also during that moment that I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and the fictional character of the protagonist/villain Lestat charmed me that I used his name as a pseudonym for countless times before. Why? Beacuse I felt that we were the same during that time --- a philosopher, rebel, wanderer, heretic, and yes, a stupid brat.

I was 24 when I created my third email, van_helsing1980@yahoo.com. From vampire to vampire slayer email! Whew! The possible reason for this change was that I am done with my rebellion against the world, so now it's time to confront myself and ask the questions: "Who are you? Why are you still here? What is it that you really want?" It was like a war waged against my own self because the real me tried to evade this reality check questions. The real me during that time didn't want to get out from his comfort zone of surreal sphere. But it was time to face fate and so war happened and the sphere of fantasy was destroyed. Eventually, Van Helsing the slayer, killed Lestat the vampire in the end.

rbmacarse@yahoo.com, my current email add. This is the real me. The man that is now willing to face his destiny, whatever it is, with a courageous heart and an unshaken soul.

There you go, the evolution of my email address and the evolution of me. I never thought my emails and my personality has something to do with each other, not until I wrote this entry. Pretty deep huh? Ha ha ha...

P.S. I have an alternate email too that I forgot to mention that I am also using right now. It's ieremor_esracam@yahoo.com. It is still me, the only difference is that it's the "twisted me". Bwa ha ha ha... Ciao!

A Random Thought From A Nursing Student

I want to become a nurse someday, not just for the mere prospect of working abroad and earn dollars or euros but of course to serve humanity. "To serve humanity," a very cliche phrase that usually raises the eyebrows of others upon hearing this as a reason why one is taking up nursing. It's hypocrisy according to them because who in his or her right mind would invest thousands and thousands of money for nursing education just to end up wiping other people's drooling saliva? It may be true to some but this notion is totally unfair for those who really have the compassion and the sincerity to help and serve his/her fellow men.

It is quite sad to think that people nowadays view the nursing profession as a mere gateway for a greener pasture. The white cap nurses are wearing is now equated to the dollar sign. And it is more saddening to think that nursing education is very expensive in our present time that those who truly possess the innate quality of a genuine nurse cannot afford to be educated and thus establish themselves in this niche. That is why it is not surprising that one will encounter grumpy, snobbish, and unapproachable nurses in every hospital. I call them as pseudo-nurses in which they do have all the nursing knowledge swirling in their brains but do not have the true compassion and love for the unfortunates stirring in their heart. They could afford nursing education, but they couldn't buy the nursing spirit. I see them most of the time as I have my duty in clinical areas and it irritates me to see them destroying the integrity of this noble profession which was founded by the selfless progenitors of nursing.

Lastly, let us not forget that the core foundation of nursing is to care and heal the sick, and uphold and protect the human dignity even in the face of death. So for once, let us nurses and soon-to-be nurses act like one.

Beep! Beep!: The Jeepney Experience

Public Use Jeepney (PUJ) or simply known as dyip has been one of the national symbols of our country. For decades, after the American occupation era, the dyip has been an important means of transportation for Filipinos especially the masa, both in rural and urban places. The left-over of the US Military jeeps were transformed into flashy vehicles ready for public use and has now become our identity and part of our culture. As a Filipino myself, I couldn't imagine life here in the Philippines nowadays without the jeepneys. It seems like everything here in this country would stop, from education to economy, if all jeepneys would be eradicated from the streets.

I always ride on a jeepney when going to the city of Iloilo from my humble town Maasin especially on school days. Commuting on a dyip will give you a lot of experiences. Some of them are funny, some of them are exhilirating, some are irritating, and some are just plain boring.

During school season, I often don't get enough sleep for the reason that I study, make my assignments, and take some notes until early dawn (very diligent huh? lol). Because of this, I often make jeepneys as my siesta cribs until it take me to my destination. There was a time when I was too sleepy and my consciousness was starting to dispersed into oblivion when I unconciously banged my head to the head of the commuter next to me. I was so ashmed of the incident that I pretended that I was still sleeping even though at that time I was already fully awake. The picture that I saw in my mind at that very moment was that all eyes were looking at me especially the searing eyes of the person in which I bumped my head into. I was sweating but I really didn't care much, because I was pretty occupied acting sleeping.

There was also this one instance in which I took a nap while commuting and later, I suddenly woke up and catched my mouth open while the other passenger sitting across me was staring at me as if wanting to throw something on my half-gaped mouth. Again, to save myself from further embarassment, I just closed my mouth and pretended to be asleep again which of course I was not. I realized from then on that acting sleeping was not an easy task.

I really hate women with long hair who doesn't know how to keep them sitting ahead of me in a jeepney. The ordeal of a hair slapping at your face for 45 minutes (that's how long it takes to travel from my town to the city) is unbearable and I have experienced it several times already and it always makes my face red like a tomato. To deal with this matter, I usually ask the woman to keep her hair because if not, my vicious killer instinct would surely "unhair" her head, making her like Sigourney Weaver in Alien movies. How I love to play the extraterrestrial creature's part!

If there is one thing I really couldn't forget riding a jeepney, that is everytime it will speed up like rocket (that it will make your hair stand up to the tip!) and the driver is a reckless daredevil. The scary part is when it overtakes a vehicle with super speed and you'll see that another vehicle is fast approaching your way. One thing for sure: you would surely pray hard for your dear life especially when it happens that you are sitting in the front seat. A dear friend of mine once told me that the difference between a priest and a reckless driver is that everytime a priest delivers his sermon, people get drowsy and eventually sleep on their pews. Meanwhile, a reckless driver when driving fast (like a trip bound to hell), could effortlessly make his passengers call all the saints and angels in heaven like Armagedon is at hand! How ironic but true.

If ever there will come a time that I will leave this beloved country of mine for a reason I still don't know, jeepneys and the experience of riding these unique vehicles will surely a miss for me. You can never say "Para!" to taxis in New York anyway.

My Life

What would my life be without coffee?

It would be a life in a state of comatose.

What would my life be without music?

Dull and boring. Deaf. Catatonic.

What would my life be without books?

Somber. Dismal.

What would my life be without movies?

Problematic.

What would my life be without my studies?

Hopeless.

What would my life be without the problems and trials that come my way?

It's like watching a dull movie for eternity.

What would my life be without my enemies and detractors?

Weak and fragile. No drama!

What would my life be without my friends?

Miserable, sad, uneventful.

What would my life be without my siblings?

It's like a scattered jigsaw puzzle.

What would be my life without nanay?

A total void. Nothing.

Maasin

Many times have I been too far away from my hometown Maasin for a very long period of time and the memory of my beloved place always haunted me during those moments. Maasin, like Cagayan de Oro City (the place where I spent most of my childhood years), holds a very special spot in my heart, maybe because a lot of precious memories have I created in the said place. Life in Maasin is very simple and yet the things that I, or we Maasinanons (that's what we call ourselves), often do and see here are the things we really miss the most whenever we get too far away from our dear hometown. Things like...

Jogging in the morning and strolling in the afternoon around the plaza....

The statues of Andres Bonifacio and the soldier at the center of the poblacion...

Swimming in the muddy river...

The Town Fiesta...

The Tultugan Festival...

Taking a bath using the "bomba" or the hand water pump...

The noisy bustling during market day every Monday...

The shits of dogs that often greet you when walking along the narrow streets early in the morning...

The bamboos...

The carabaos...

Our family roots...

The flood during typhoons...

The fountain with the bust of a fish that only spills water from its mouth during special occasions (like fiesta, Christmas, New Year)...

Riding "trisikads"...

Drunkard neighbors...

Blue Fields...

Eating batchoy and pizza at Janken...

Squating at the sidewalk at night underneath the lampost, texting...

The "kadyos" and "monggo" dishes...

Going to the congested cemetary during All Souls Day...

Diving in the dam...

An of course, our dear friends, classmates, barkadas, and other acquaintances...

I know that there might be a possibility in the future that I will be once again taken away from my hometown because we never know what fate has instore for us, but I know that I will always come back from time to time to Maasin for the place has become a part of person, a part of my identity.

The Statue of Andres Bonifacio at the Poblacion Plaza and the Municipal Hall

The fountain with the fish bust

The Poblacion Public Market

One of the narrow streets of Maasin

The Murderer

Of all creatures in the animal kingdom, the cockroach is the only one that could awaken my killer instinct which I tried to repress deep in my subconscious mind. I have a lot of reasons why I love to assassinate cockroaches and to enumerate them here would mean that I have to glue my ass for an hour in the chair. But I think the two main reasons why I am so inhumane towards "cockroachkind" are the following --- First, they definitely look ummm... scary, like some loathsome extraterrestrial lifeforms crawling on your wall ready to launch at your face anytime and squirt at you that stinking smell that can make your stomach turn inside out (ews!). Second, because they carry germs! Remember that these filthy creatures feed, live, and crawl on decaying matters and it has been reported that they spread at least 33 kinds of bacteria, six kinds of parasitic worms, and at least seven other kinds of human pathogens. Think about that!

So every time I see a cockroach, any object at hand (usually a slipper or a broom) will serve as my weapon of destruction. Then..... SPLAT! End of his existence.

One time, I saw a cockroach and yes, I exterminate it. The action was like automatic and involuntary that seconds after I saw the filthy thing crawling on the floor, I just beheld it before me, squashed.

Unknown to me, my cousin saw at that time the thing that I had done to the insect. When she approached me, she asked, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"I don't know," my only answer.

"Ok, supposing that reincarnation is true, there is a possibility that that cockroach you killed is our very own grandma," she told me like someone who knows all the secret knowledge of the universe.

I looked back to the spot where the dead insect lied. My cousin did the same. Then, absent-mindedly I uttered: "Oh my God, I just murdered Lola Soting..."

The Seven Deadly Sins

My dear brothers and sisters, I exhort to you all to avoid these seven deadly sins that will corrupt your souls and will consume you to the eternal blazing fire of hell.....

LUXURIA or LUST. Avoid craving for those FHMs, Maxims, and Playboys! If you really can't avoid reading them, then read them with eyes closed.

GULA or GLUTTONY. Avoid eating too much imported foods especially those coming from China. Some of them (and you'll never know which) contains melamine and formaldehyde which will hasten your laying down to your coffin!

AVARITIA or GREED. Greed my dear brethrens is like lust and gluttony, a sin of excess accumulation of power. Now texting is a power too to communicate, but sometimes too much texting is.... costly and can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. Now I know (and you know too) what's the relationship with a costly vice to greed, but with carpal tunnel syndrome? I really don't have an idea.

ACEDIA or SLOTH. To all my dear friends, please do reply to my text messages if you have loads (and don't you guys dare lie that you don't have! Grrrr...) or else I can accuse you of being lazy bones and then the wrath of heaven will smite your cheeks and crush your teeth to dusts!

IRA or WRATH. My dear teachers and clinical instructors, please don't let your anger consume you if I am always late in your classes and clinical duties. You don't want to be barbecued in hell, don't you?

INVIDIA or ENVY. Do not envy Marian Rivera's sexy body; Angel Locsin's long, straight, shiny hair; Toni Gonzaga's pearly white teeth; Katrina Halili's prominent nose; and Keana Reeves' oversized boobs because the creation of these were all costly (you know what I mean) likewise their maintenance... and unfortunately you don't have the money. What I am trying to say is, stop watching too much television and reading too much showbiz oriented magazines. Aside from saving electricity consumption, you might also save some money for silicon later.

SUPERBIA or PRIDE. Some say that we must swallow our pride but in my case, I digest them..... And until now I still suffer from constipation. But brethrens you choose, constipation or damnation?

Be guided, be enlightened. Amen.

2009 And The Jigsaw Puzzle Pieces

It’s already 5 hours passed the new year and I am still here facing the computer. I cannot sleep. Maybe due to drinking of too much Coke… Or maybe I just can’t believe until now that it is already 2009. Well anyway, I am very glad that another year had passed and I am still healthy, kicking, and alive. And yes, very very blessed. I thank God for all the things that had happened to me last 2008 because it was such a wonderful year for me amidst of all the trials and testings and I give him all the glory for that.

I know this year will also be a beautiful and bountiful year for me. How do I know? Well, God said believe in the things that you want to happen and it will come true. That’s what faith is all about — believing in things not yet seen. So again, I am claiming this year as a prosperous year for me! Amen.

The entry of 2009 marks a new chapter in my life. I am already excited of what will going to happen next. It is like watching a soap opera. The only thing I am asking is that may God give me the strength to face all the tests (and defeats) that I will be encountering this year, the thankful heart that will anchor my feet to the ground despite of all the overwhelming victories, and the wisdom to know what is good and what is right.

My new year’s resolution for this year is still the same as last year and that is, “I shall make a better me.” The only difference this time is that I am doing it not just for myself but also for the others. 2008 made me realized that in order to complete one’s jigsaw puzzle, one must find the missing pieces on others. I am starting to find it now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE AND CONTINUE TO SPREAD LOVE AND UNITY!

Happy Fiesta

Fiesta, the time for heaps and heaps of delicious foods and overflowing drinks and liquors. Everybody during this time just want to be full, drunk, and be merry. It has been a long tradition for Filipinos to celebrate the feast of either their patron saints or the foundation of their hometowns or baranggays, and no matter how bad the economy crisis is, Filipinos still find ways just to have a decent or even flamboyant celebration of their fiestas and that includes borrowing money from others. As what the old folks here often say, "One day of enjoyment, one year of torment." This saying often makes me laugh but I find it true. I know a lot of families here in our place having a hard time finding solutions to pay their debts after fiestas. That's how life balances everything here in the Philippines.

Fiestas are also moments where in cholesterol and alcohol levels soar up to the maximum but most of the time, a hypertensive like me couldn't really help but to munch on those enticing greasy and carbohydrate-rich food. Yeah, I know it's bad for me but should I just look at them drooling and torturing myself? As my former teacher in anatomy and physiology subject in college once said: "It doesn't matter if you die early as long as you die happy, smiling in your coffin." Well, maybe she's right but the last part, I have a doubt about it because until now, I have never seen a smiling corpse.

I know that we Filipinos need some time even just once a year to be jovial just to forget for a short moment all the problems our unfortunate third world country is facing, but sometimes I wonder if fiestas could really be a good instrument for this purpose or just another problem-producing event both for our pocket and for our health? Just asking.

Anyway, happy annual fiesta to my beloved hometown Maasin! And advance happy new year too! Let us look forward for a brighter life next year. God bless us all.

The Ultra-Amazing Super Jim

For years I have kept this secret in the deepest recesses of my soul. No breathing thing on this planet have I ever confided it for the reason that I wanted to protect those people I love from the curse of this secret. But unless I bare myself to the world, I will be forever caged in this clandestine that is starting to swallow my being. And so I decided, that it is now the ripe time for me to reveal this secret to all. The secret that yours truly is.......

................... none other than the ultra-amazing SUPER JIM!!! (Kabooooommmm!!!)

Yes dear friends, I am a superhero. And not just your typical superhero because I don't just stop a train that has lost control, or save a baby from a burning apartment building, or help an old woman get back her snatched purse from the filthy scoundrel, but I also do special things that will complete your day.

-oOo-

Are you having problem with those "medusas"? I am referring to those women who sit beside you in public use jeepnies and let their long unkempt dry hair slap your face while the PUJ takes speed to the point that your face reddens like that of a tomato? Well, have no fear, or should I say don't get mad, because SUPER JIM is here!

If I am in a good mood, I'll just talk with that woman in a nice way and ask her, "Excuse me miss, your hair have been slapping this person's face for almost a time now. And your shampoo doesn't even smell good, not to mention those split ends that are pricking his/her face like barb wires. So could you please, for the salvation of the whole world and your poor soul, keep your hair away from his/her visage?"

Now if I'm in a bad mood, I'll say nothing 'cause I'll just tie those hair without her knowing it, to the hand rail of the jeepney. There, that will keep those hair in place and eventually, the owner too! Har har har...

-oOo-

You're queuing in a long line for the ATM machine when suddenly, an impertinent moron from out of nowhere enters the queue ahead of you. You and the rest of those poor people lining after you are infuriated with this arrogant move to the point that your blood boils like a lava. Cool yourself, SUPER JIM comes to the rescue!

If I'm in a good mood, I'll just approach that person, look at him/her directly in the eye and ask whether he/she have had a Values Education subject before. If he/she will answer "yes", then I'll just remind him/her of the phrase that even my preschool cousin knows by heart that our values education teachers kept on repeating when we were still kids and that is: "Fall in line and wait for your turn!" If he/she will say "no" then I'll be glad to offer him my free good etiquette tutorial service. If ever he/she will answer "I forgot", God forbid me but I will just hit him/her in the face then I'll just said "Oops, I forgot my right manners and proper conduct. Sorry..."

Now, If I'm in a bad mood, I'll just step hard on whichever foot of his/her, and then push him/her on the side as he/she whimpers from pain. Then I'll just stand still as if nothing happened. If he/she will fight back, then it's time to use my Karate skills. Hiyaaaa..... If not, I'll just ignore the moron.

-oOo-

You see, your superhero here can do more aside from those things mentioned above. All you've got to do is shout for my name, as in shout to the point that your throat vibrates and dehydrates, and I will be surely there to help you. Don't worry, my service is free of charge, but I would say no if you'll offer me a cup of coffee and a pizza as a gratitude for my goodness. He he he...

Wait... I hear someone screaming my name for help. I think I'll just leave you here for the meantime my avid followers. I've got some saving to do. And by the way, before I go, for the sake of protecting my private life against those paparazzi, please lets keep this as a secret, okay? Thank you ever dearest confidants.

Up up and away!!!!!!

Christmas Lost, Christmas Redeemed

When I was small, Christmas was one of my favorite occasions every year aside of course from my birthday. The presents, the blinking lights, the cold breeze, the food, the jingles, and yes, the festive mood, all of this gave me the feeling of innocent bliss. And since Christmas only comes once a year, the long wait always added a feeling of thrill in me.

As I grew up, the spell that used to mesmerize me about Christmas started to wane. I think it all started with the onset of financial problems in our family that limited us from having a celebration that was well, fit for Christmas. You know, the kind of celebration kids always thought about -- lots of foods and gifts. I think during that time, that was during my elementary years, my parents were having a hard time with money due to hospitalization after hospitalization of my younger siblings. Christmas during those years were quite sad and cold because not even a simple lantern hanged on our house's front window.

The other thing that made me lost my interest in Christmas was upon learning that Santa Claus doesn't really exist. For years I had been living in the fantasy that Santa makes a list of little boys and girls' names all over the world and that he's checking it twice as what a certain Christmas jingle says so that those who have been good for the rest of the year will receive a gift from him. I thought that the Santa (should I put an "s" on the last letter?) that I always see in department stores during yuletide season waiting for kids to ask him for a picture taking was real. I later found out that that Santa was just for commercial promotion and that he worked as a security guard on the other days. Frustrating it was for me to learn the truth that the old stout man with immaculate beard and mustache and wearing red suit while saying "ho ho ho!" on his sleight pulled by flying reindeers was just a creation of adults' creative mind. But those were childhood days, innocence was still pure and undefiled. Days were we could be easily convinced about fantastical things without evidences. Sometimes I'd rather wish I just stayed that way, believing easily in things that were really fiction, rather than be awaken to the harsh and cruel reality of this world.

Lately, I joined our college's community extension service program and my first exposure to the community we are supporting was when we had our gift giving activity and medical mission for the indigents in that area. They say that Christmas time is a time for sharing because God himself gave his only begotten Son to us, Jesus Christ, in order to save the whole humanity. Well, The Nativity was really a beautiful story but I didn't get the real essence of it not until we went to Brgy. Tanao, Batad for the said activities I mentioned. It was the first time I did some humanitarian act and yes, it was a wonderful experience. I just want to emphasize on the thing about "sharing". I learned that to share not what you abundantly have but the one you have little of was amazing. It made me feel that a part of me went to the thing I shared and that part of me lifted that receiver's spirit because of the genuine smile I beheld on his/her face. Now I know what Jesus felt when he gave himself to us and with that, a new "magic" suddenly enchanted me about Christmas. It is the magic of self-giving, of unselfishness, of genuine fraternal love. I lost my faith on Christmas when I was kid, now Christmas has redeemed itself to me.

Merry Christmas everyone and let us continue to spread peace, love, and joy to the whole world! God bless us all.

-oOo-

"God, bless this food..."

Chibugan Time

Simple Christmas With Family & Relatives

My Cousins

The Reverse Effect

Last December 20, I went to Brgy. Tanao, Batad together with my fellow UICN-CES volunteers for our medical mission and gift giving activities. I decided to go there despite of the gloomy weather and the almost 3-hours travel for the "grand humanitarian purpose" that I will be able to touch and change other people's lives for the better. You know, the "hero thing" (and I have found out that we could! That is, if we will just do it).














When we reached our place of destination, I was very excited to start as soon as possible our first activity that I was able to consume 4 cups of chicken vermicelli soup and 6 pieces of pan de leche which was served to us by the locals there. I didn't even mind my tiredness from the three hours of travel! The warmth and congeniality of the people of Brgy. Tanao and the beautiful landscape of the place which was hilly on the other side and the sea and an island on the other (the island is still a part of the barangay) was enough to erase my fatigue.














And so the activity started. On that afternoon, the locals of Brgy. Tanao, especially the indigents, coming from the different far flanged sitios arrived. I could see that some of the indigents could not afford to buy at least cheap decent clothes basing on the faded and tattered clothes they wore. Some even walked the muddy road in going to the barangay's plaza where our gift giving program was held barefooted. A realization dawned upon me during that time that I am indeed far more blessed compared to these people. And it also made me feel guilty why I always complained of some petty things like not having a load for my cellphone or not having been into the cinema and watch a blockbuster movie for almost three months. Why am I giving importance to these irrelevants things when a lot of people doesn't even have a scoop of rice to eat? I suddenly asked myself indignantly.


















During our gift giving, most of the recipients wore a big smile on their faces. Others even danced out of sheer joy upon receiving their packages. A few cried out of gratitude. The scene was very touching that it suddenly changed my perspectives in life.


















On the second day of our stay there, we had our medical mission. The situation was still the same as that of the first day, people flooded hoping that they could avail of the free medical check up and likewise medicines for their illnesses. Everybody was wishing to be called first for the free check up afraid that they might not be called until the doctors will leave in the afternoon. Such an overwhelming effect of poverty I must say. Very saddening.














My trip to Brgy. Tanao, Batad was life-changing on my part. I went there on the purpose, as what I have stated earlier, to touch other people's lives. But in my stay there, something I didn't expect happened to me. That is, the people there touched my life also in a grand scale. The Batad exprience taught me that life is meaningless unless you share it with others. I never knew that a reverse effect would take place while I was there! I was..... amazed.

-oOo-

P.S. Oh by the way, I really enjoyed our caroling moments there...














...and I miss the linugaw...


















... and of course the gang!















God Bless!

Batad, Here I Come!

I'm going to Brgy. Tanao, Batad, Iloilo tomorrow for our medical mission and gift giving activity for the indigenous people of the said place. This is a actually a yearly activity of the University of Iloilo College of Nursing - Community Extension Service Program.

I applied to become a volunteer of CES last semester, and luckily I was accepted, so that I may be able to help in my own simple way those people in depressed areas who are unfortunate enough to have at least a comfortable way of living. This is my way of expressing my deep gratitude to God for blessing me with more than enough. This is also my way of stirring a revolution to change this hatred-driven world which is the revolution of love. Very grand yet possible. I know, I could be a channel of God's love and care. We can.

I'll be packing my things a moment from now then I'll head for Iloilo City. Our departure for Batad will be at 4 o'clock tomorrow. Batad, here I come! And may God bless our trip and activities there. Amen.

P.S. An article related to this titled Destination Batad was posted by yours truly on my other blog, wildnurse.blogspot.com, so kindly check it out. Thanks and God bless! Mwah.

Less-Human Trying To Be More Human, At Least

Vacation time! Thank God! And thank God too 'cause Christmas is fast approaching. I am looking forward not for the gifts (ows?) but for the ample time that I will be able to spend with my family. I miss home even though I go here every weekend. It is my sanctuary from all the chaotic stirring of the city. There is no place like home. And what about the world outside it? It's nothing but a vast jungle roamed mostly by less-humans.

-oOo-

Yesterday afternoon, yours truly, together with my UICN Community Extension Service (CES) gang had our packaging activities of the goods to be distributed to the indigents of Batad, Iloilo for the gift giving activity of CES this Christmas season. We had fun and it really felt good to know that all our efforts, from solicitation of goods to segregation and transportation, will not be wasted because we know that these will benefit our unfortunate brothers and sisters in Batad espcially those living in the remote areas who cannot even afford to buy at least one kilo of rice everyday for their food.

Lately I learned that the best way to make ourselves really feel good is to think less of ourselves and more on how to alleviate the sufferings of others. And I learned too that this doesn't only make us feel good, it also makes us more human, at least.

From Rockstar to Nurse

Man, I couldn't believe I sang last December 5 in the duet competition for our College of Nursing Foundation Day. It was like, I don't know how to describe it. Ha ha ha... All I know is that I stupidly accepted the request of our council to do it. I can sing ummmm... fair but not that great so it was like a suicide when I accepted the "challenge". But on the other hand, I want to experience and explore new things that will enrich my life so I think the better time to start it is now -- the time of my life when I am still young, bold, and boosting with energy!

When I was kid, I dreamed of becoming a rock star or even just a not-so-famous recording artist when I grow up. I don't know what happened to that dream because I just woke up one day pursuing the path of the nursing profession. But even though I already plunged into the pool of medical field, the child within me who wants to become a rock star someday still "possesses" me from time to time and I know he won't rest until I give him what he wants. So I last December 5, I gave him what he wanted which was a 10 minutes of performing on stage and the claps he wanted to hear from the audience.

On the day of the competition I was really scared to the max! I feared that my strained voice would give up on the middle of the song and that I might get off key and wouldn't be able to blend with my singing partner Ceelina and mess the whole thing! It would be a nightmare that instead of claps I, or we, might get "boos" instead. The fear of rejection.

So I tried to shake off my fears on that final moment, built my confidence, and tried to perform without reservations. I tried not to mind the good performances of the other competing couples because I might compare myself to them and would only create a feeling of inferiority in me. Wow, after our performance ended, I couldn't believe that I made it through. Our performance was not that great but I must say, pardon me if I sound bias, that it was good. And yes, the audience clapped and I know that in that moment blood rushed to my face. Ha ha ha...

We won the second place and for me, it was more than enough. Not bad for a first timers like us, what do you think huh? Anyways, the experience was great and I learned that fear is the only thing that holds us back from the things that we wanted to do in life. Things that if not fulfilled, we may keep on asking ourselves later "What if?"

To the child within me: I hope that the ten minute limelight exposure on stage will pacify you. I hope too that you will understand that although entertaining people is a good thing, healing them is far more better. From rockstar to nurse.....


P.S. To Ceelina: Thank you! To Anne, Rena Joy, & Rio: Congratutalations!

Hey!

Nursing Day Celebration is over. Thank God! I had a lot of things to tell you, experiences I had during the celebration but my body and my mind are until now still exhausted. I need to have enough sleep. I need to regenerate my cells first. Got to go. Bye. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Of Books, Chest Pain, & Death

Back to school. My books and I are reunited once gain. I miss them and I know they miss me too especially the intimate moments we shared together in the wee hours of the morning with them opened and yours truly sleeping. Ha ha ha... But now, we have plenty of time again for bonding and ummm... sleeping together? lol!

Ok, let's put aside books as of the moment because I am eager right now to talk about the pain (as in literal pain!) I am experiencing in my left chest which sometimes radiates to my left arm. I want to talk about it because I am deeply troubled. You see this pain in my chest started to occur in coincidence with the discussion of our topic in Nursing Care Management regarding cardiovascular diseases and their management. It made me frantic! Could this be angina pectoris, myocardial infarction, or much worst than that!

I've tried to listen to the sounds of my heart with my stethoscope and since I am not yet an expert in distinguishing normal from abnormal sounds, the swishing, thumping, murmuring, gushing, or whatever made me even more paranoid! Oh my God, I am too young to die, I told myself.

Dying, why are most people afraid of it? Even I have a foreboding feeling about it sometimes although me and my classmates sometimes made a joke about it. Maybe it is just the fact that we don't know what happens next after dying. No one returns from the grave after a year of being dead and told us what is it like on the after life. I guess this where the role of the Bible enters. It gives us insights and hope about new life after death. Now I don't care if other people doesn't believe in what the Bible is saying especially on the aspect of life after death. As long that it gives me something to hold on to when my time has come to lie on the death bed, a promise to look forward to when my mortal body starts to give up, that's only thing that matters to me most. It is because it erases my fear of death and thus gives me the inspiration to live life to the fullest.

Wow, I just realized that this entry has jumped from one topic to another! From books, to chest pain, to death. Talking about random thoughts from my gray matter!

Just Like Texting

I was talking about fate, destiny, and the likes in my past blog entries more often lately. I was questioning the purpose of my existence in this world and the direction that my life is leading to. Very deep huh? Yeah, I do get very philosophical sometimes that after my philosophical trance I usually tap and ask myself if the real Romerei is already back in his body. But one thing I love every time I am possessed with the "philosophical me" is the soliciting and pondering of questions the "real me" usually takes for granted. Questions which I think are very vital not just to keep me sane and anchor me to reality but likewise to keep me whole as a being.

In quest for my fate and purpose, God answered me recently with such clarity that I do get amaze every time I recall the way he laid the answers on me. But before I plunge to that portion of the story, I think it is better that I should make the matter clear first why I keep on fussing about the purpose of my existence in this planet and about my fate. You see, I've been around in this earth for already 28 years and my journey in this life is nothing but an endless wandering, no sense of direction at all. I've tried so many things in my life and a lot of events have already molded me into what I am now but still I haven't found the one that I am looking for. The thing that would make me satisfy and give me the sense of meaning. I used to ask God about all these things and for years I didn't get any answer from him. And so for years too life for me was nothing but an endless questioning and searching.

Until recently, a big realization had dawned upon me. It started with a problem regarding my schooling. It was the last day of enrollment at that time for second semester and I still didn't have the money for it because of some complicated problems that my aunt,who is also my benefactress, had encountered in the States. So she wasn't able to send me the money I needed. It worried me big time that I almost reached the point to freak out and wail. But of course, I didn't do that. Instead I calmed myself and prayed to God sincerely. I asked Him to make some miracles for me right at that moment. Why? A voice in my head asked me instantly and I was like groping for an answer for a few minutes. I searched my heart and the only answer I could find there was the desire that I want to become a registered nurse in the future. It may sound like I'm a hypocrite but I really wanted to care for the sick and serve humanity in my own humble way. Nursing is the path that I chose to tread on in order for me to become God's channel of his love and care. The profession has now become my devotion, it has become my life already. So I told God at that moment that if I loose the chance to become a nurse in the near future, it would be hard for me to go on for this is the fate or destiny that I chose.

After that serious talk with God, my cellphone beeped. A friend of mine, without me even asking him, offered to help me by lending me the amount of money I needed for my enrollment. He said that he heard about my problem from a common friend of ours and that he is willing to help me. I was stunned right on the spot. Wow, what a quick answer by God! It was just like texting! I told myself and I just found myself later shouting out of jubilation.

One important thing I learned from that experience is that we make our own destiny. God has given us the gift to choose that we possess the power to create our own fate basing on the choices we make in every moment of our lives. God is there for us only to guide us and laid unto us the hundreds of options to choose from. The rest of it lies on our hands. I told God sincerely that I want to become a nurse and that nursing is now already my life and that loosing it means emptiness for me. And yes, he didn't denied it from me. Haaay... I wasted all my time looking and asking God for my purpose, my destiny, and he was right there all along waiting for me to make up my mind and tell him what is it that I really want. If I have known earlier, I should have finished nursing earlier too. But it is not yet too late, 30 is still a young age to graduate. Besides, I feel like my age perpetually stopped at 19. Ha ha ha...

Lastly, another thing I learned from that experience is that never hesitate to pray to God for miracles. Prayer does move mountains. God answers immediately (just like texting! he he he...) to those who pray with sincere hearts.

Thank you God. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!

Road Trip

Last week, we had our road trip. Yours truly together with my close pals or better known as "The Jugings" decided to travel the narrow road of Iloilo heading south.We just wanted to have a break from the many pressures and tensions going on with our academic life. We thought fresh air, the blazing sun, and the welcoming view of the beach might release all the negative energies and recharge us with positivity once more. After a very short, hasty, and on the spot preparation, of we went!













While we were traveling, laughters filled the car. By the way, we were using Cee's Fortuner and yes, she was the driver too. He he he... But what really made me love that moment was the tranquility that dawned upon me while watching the road and the road side as we went. The scenery of the coastal line on the left side, the hills and trees on the right, and the simplicity of rural living made my soul calm and collected. Another funny moment was when we crossed the bridge of Tigbauan in going to Guimbal wherein we held our breath from the beginning of the bridge until we reach the other side of it. For what purpose? Nothing, just for sheer fun. He he he...

We had two stop overs. First at Poblacion, Miag-ao wherein we just wanted to have a full gaze of the famous Miag-ao Church which is known for its unique and beautiful architecture. Then at San Joaquin wherein we bought some of the spices we needed for the food we were going to cook for lunch.

After almost two hours of speeding in the road, we finally arrived at our destination which was a not so famous beach resort in San Joaquin. The place actually was not that peopled when we got there and its name was kinda funny called "Basa Beach Resort" which in our local dialect "basa" means "wet". What do you expect of course when you swim in a beach? lol!














After settling down in a cottage we paid, we headed on to the beach and did a lot of swimming, rock climbing, and wave counteracting (what a term!). And then by 12, we had our sumptous lunch and then continued swimming afterward. It was fun. I had a lot of good time. We went home 4:30 PM tired yet satisfied. We were maybe physically tired from the experience that day but we knew that deep in our hearts, we were once again recharged with youthful enthusiasm and childlike eagerness.






I hope there will be next.

-oOo-

The Jugings: Ceelina, Leslie, Rena, Tyke, Barbie, Jayson, Earl, Yours truly, & Paul. (Some of the Jugings were not able to made it on this road trip. Next time guys!)