My first email, I created it when I was 18, was jimlynx@another.com. The name was the combination of my nickname "Jim" and of "Lynx" which is a specie of a wild ferocious cat and happens to be my codename when I was an officer of the Citizen Army Training (CAT) during my last year in high school. I kind of like the combination of the two because it represented my shy and covert personality; and the sleeping ferocious "inner me" which is ambitious, idealistic, tough, self-determined, and bold. I used it since then and eventually got tired of it when I entered my early twenties.
The next email I created and use for my fancy was when I reached twenty. The email was lestat(with numbers attached but sadly I have forgotten it)@yahoo.com. My "young adult" life was very turbulent at that time. I was starting to ask for the purpose of my existence at that point in my life and the "meaninglessness" of life ended by death suddenly had an impact on me that I suffered mild depression. It was also during that moment that I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and the fictional character of the protagonist/villain Lestat charmed me that I used his name as a pseudonym for countless times before. Why? Beacuse I felt that we were the same during that time --- a philosopher, rebel, wanderer, heretic, and yes, a stupid brat.
I was 24 when I created my third email, van_helsing1980@yahoo.com. From vampire to vampire slayer email! Whew! The possible reason for this change was that I am done with my rebellion against the world, so now it's time to confront myself and ask the questions: "Who are you? Why are you still here? What is it that you really want?" It was like a war waged against my own self because the real me tried to evade this reality check questions. The real me during that time didn't want to get out from his comfort zone of surreal sphere. But it was time to face fate and so war happened and the sphere of fantasy was destroyed. Eventually, Van Helsing the slayer, killed Lestat the vampire in the end.
rbmacarse@yahoo.com, my current email add. This is the real me. The man that is now willing to face his destiny, whatever it is, with a courageous heart and an unshaken soul.
There you go, the evolution of my email address and the evolution of me. I never thought my emails and my personality has something to do with each other, not until I wrote this entry. Pretty deep huh? Ha ha ha...
P.S. I have an alternate email too that I forgot to mention that I am also using right now. It's ieremor_esracam@yahoo.com. It is still me, the only difference is that it's the "twisted me". Bwa ha ha ha... Ciao!
The next email I created and use for my fancy was when I reached twenty. The email was lestat(with numbers attached but sadly I have forgotten it)@yahoo.com. My "young adult" life was very turbulent at that time. I was starting to ask for the purpose of my existence at that point in my life and the "meaninglessness" of life ended by death suddenly had an impact on me that I suffered mild depression. It was also during that moment that I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and the fictional character of the protagonist/villain Lestat charmed me that I used his name as a pseudonym for countless times before. Why? Beacuse I felt that we were the same during that time --- a philosopher, rebel, wanderer, heretic, and yes, a stupid brat.
I was 24 when I created my third email, van_helsing1980@yahoo.com. From vampire to vampire slayer email! Whew! The possible reason for this change was that I am done with my rebellion against the world, so now it's time to confront myself and ask the questions: "Who are you? Why are you still here? What is it that you really want?" It was like a war waged against my own self because the real me tried to evade this reality check questions. The real me during that time didn't want to get out from his comfort zone of surreal sphere. But it was time to face fate and so war happened and the sphere of fantasy was destroyed. Eventually, Van Helsing the slayer, killed Lestat the vampire in the end.
rbmacarse@yahoo.com, my current email add. This is the real me. The man that is now willing to face his destiny, whatever it is, with a courageous heart and an unshaken soul.
There you go, the evolution of my email address and the evolution of me. I never thought my emails and my personality has something to do with each other, not until I wrote this entry. Pretty deep huh? Ha ha ha...
P.S. I have an alternate email too that I forgot to mention that I am also using right now. It's ieremor_esracam@yahoo.com. It is still me, the only difference is that it's the "twisted me". Bwa ha ha ha... Ciao!
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