Un-belly-vable!

My waistline finally reaches its horrifying circumference and that is 33 centimeters. Who says 33 cms. is horrifying? Me! That's my limit when it comes to waistline circumference, beyond that is totally unhealthy and unsexy, and nobody should argue with me because I said so and this is my blog! So zipper your mouths dumb minions or off with your heads! (Insane laughter voiceover at this point.)

Before I decide what (desperate) measure I must do to stop this unacceptable future disfigurement, let me assess first the cause(s) of this condition, as any competent nurse will do, so that I will be able to formulate my nursing diagnosis and come up with the most effective interventions.

Assessment: Mind is always preoccupied with food and mouth is constantly, perpetually, and unstoppably munching anything that comes along its way. Carbohydrate-based foods are often consumed. The couch is always the place of comfort and exercise is definitely an alien concept in the vocabulary. Pants are starting to feel tight. Feeling of "unsexiness" often persists lately.

Diagnosis: Risk for possessing a bulging belly related to the deposition of adipose tissue in the strategic place of the abdominal cavity

Back to the main topic which is my starting-to-bulge belly, my problem is that I can no longer find my six-packed abs. As if they really exist. But anyway, even though those abs were just imaginary, I don't want flabs of adipose tissue (scientific term for fats, just to make this ranting of mine a bit technical, lol!) to occupy the space intended for my imaginary abs either. So this means that I have to act right now before it's too late. But that means that I have to undergo a strict diet program, right? And a tiring exercise everyday to burn carbs! That means less fun. Torture!

Then the hell with this bulging belly! If people will be disgusted looking at my protruding belly in the future, then don't look! I don't care. For me, there's nothing like a bar of chocolate melting in my mouth, nothing like the tingling sensation of sweet soda running in my esophagus, and nothing like a cinnamon roll filling my sense of smell while my mouth starts to water. From now on, I'll just embrace the adage that "beauty is skin deep" and just go on with the habit of MUNCHING! Ha ha ha... Adios!