Back to school. My books and I are reunited once gain. I miss them and I know they miss me too especially the intimate moments we shared together in the wee hours of the morning with them opened and yours truly sleeping. Ha ha ha... But now, we have plenty of time again for bonding and ummm... sleeping together? lol!
Ok, let's put aside books as of the moment because I am eager right now to talk about the pain (as in literal pain!) I am experiencing in my left chest which sometimes radiates to my left arm. I want to talk about it because I am deeply troubled. You see this pain in my chest started to occur in coincidence with the discussion of our topic in Nursing Care Management regarding cardiovascular diseases and their management. It made me frantic! Could this be angina pectoris, myocardial infarction, or much worst than that!
I've tried to listen to the sounds of my heart with my stethoscope and since I am not yet an expert in distinguishing normal from abnormal sounds, the swishing, thumping, murmuring, gushing, or whatever made me even more paranoid! Oh my God, I am too young to die, I told myself.
Dying, why are most people afraid of it? Even I have a foreboding feeling about it sometimes although me and my classmates sometimes made a joke about it. Maybe it is just the fact that we don't know what happens next after dying. No one returns from the grave after a year of being dead and told us what is it like on the after life. I guess this where the role of the Bible enters. It gives us insights and hope about new life after death. Now I don't care if other people doesn't believe in what the Bible is saying especially on the aspect of life after death. As long that it gives me something to hold on to when my time has come to lie on the death bed, a promise to look forward to when my mortal body starts to give up, that's only thing that matters to me most. It is because it erases my fear of death and thus gives me the inspiration to live life to the fullest.
Wow, I just realized that this entry has jumped from one topic to another! From books, to chest pain, to death. Talking about random thoughts from my gray matter!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Just Like Texting
I was talking about fate, destiny, and the likes in my past blog entries more often lately. I was questioning the purpose of my existence in this world and the direction that my life is leading to. Very deep huh? Yeah, I do get very philosophical sometimes that after my philosophical trance I usually tap and ask myself if the real Romerei is already back in his body. But one thing I love every time I am possessed with the "philosophical me" is the soliciting and pondering of questions the "real me" usually takes for granted. Questions which I think are very vital not just to keep me sane and anchor me to reality but likewise to keep me whole as a being.
In quest for my fate and purpose, God answered me recently with such clarity that I do get amaze every time I recall the way he laid the answers on me. But before I plunge to that portion of the story, I think it is better that I should make the matter clear first why I keep on fussing about the purpose of my existence in this planet and about my fate. You see, I've been around in this earth for already 28 years and my journey in this life is nothing but an endless wandering, no sense of direction at all. I've tried so many things in my life and a lot of events have already molded me into what I am now but still I haven't found the one that I am looking for. The thing that would make me satisfy and give me the sense of meaning. I used to ask God about all these things and for years I didn't get any answer from him. And so for years too life for me was nothing but an endless questioning and searching.
Until recently, a big realization had dawned upon me. It started with a problem regarding my schooling. It was the last day of enrollment at that time for second semester and I still didn't have the money for it because of some complicated problems that my aunt,who is also my benefactress, had encountered in the States. So she wasn't able to send me the money I needed. It worried me big time that I almost reached the point to freak out and wail. But of course, I didn't do that. Instead I calmed myself and prayed to God sincerely. I asked Him to make some miracles for me right at that moment. Why? A voice in my head asked me instantly and I was like groping for an answer for a few minutes. I searched my heart and the only answer I could find there was the desire that I want to become a registered nurse in the future. It may sound like I'm a hypocrite but I really wanted to care for the sick and serve humanity in my own humble way. Nursing is the path that I chose to tread on in order for me to become God's channel of his love and care. The profession has now become my devotion, it has become my life already. So I told God at that moment that if I loose the chance to become a nurse in the near future, it would be hard for me to go on for this is the fate or destiny that I chose.
After that serious talk with God, my cellphone beeped. A friend of mine, without me even asking him, offered to help me by lending me the amount of money I needed for my enrollment. He said that he heard about my problem from a common friend of ours and that he is willing to help me. I was stunned right on the spot. Wow, what a quick answer by God! It was just like texting! I told myself and I just found myself later shouting out of jubilation.
One important thing I learned from that experience is that we make our own destiny. God has given us the gift to choose that we possess the power to create our own fate basing on the choices we make in every moment of our lives. God is there for us only to guide us and laid unto us the hundreds of options to choose from. The rest of it lies on our hands. I told God sincerely that I want to become a nurse and that nursing is now already my life and that loosing it means emptiness for me. And yes, he didn't denied it from me. Haaay... I wasted all my time looking and asking God for my purpose, my destiny, and he was right there all along waiting for me to make up my mind and tell him what is it that I really want. If I have known earlier, I should have finished nursing earlier too. But it is not yet too late, 30 is still a young age to graduate. Besides, I feel like my age perpetually stopped at 19. Ha ha ha...
Lastly, another thing I learned from that experience is that never hesitate to pray to God for miracles. Prayer does move mountains. God answers immediately (just like texting! he he he...) to those who pray with sincere hearts.
Thank you God. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!
In quest for my fate and purpose, God answered me recently with such clarity that I do get amaze every time I recall the way he laid the answers on me. But before I plunge to that portion of the story, I think it is better that I should make the matter clear first why I keep on fussing about the purpose of my existence in this planet and about my fate. You see, I've been around in this earth for already 28 years and my journey in this life is nothing but an endless wandering, no sense of direction at all. I've tried so many things in my life and a lot of events have already molded me into what I am now but still I haven't found the one that I am looking for. The thing that would make me satisfy and give me the sense of meaning. I used to ask God about all these things and for years I didn't get any answer from him. And so for years too life for me was nothing but an endless questioning and searching.
Until recently, a big realization had dawned upon me. It started with a problem regarding my schooling. It was the last day of enrollment at that time for second semester and I still didn't have the money for it because of some complicated problems that my aunt,who is also my benefactress, had encountered in the States. So she wasn't able to send me the money I needed. It worried me big time that I almost reached the point to freak out and wail. But of course, I didn't do that. Instead I calmed myself and prayed to God sincerely. I asked Him to make some miracles for me right at that moment. Why? A voice in my head asked me instantly and I was like groping for an answer for a few minutes. I searched my heart and the only answer I could find there was the desire that I want to become a registered nurse in the future. It may sound like I'm a hypocrite but I really wanted to care for the sick and serve humanity in my own humble way. Nursing is the path that I chose to tread on in order for me to become God's channel of his love and care. The profession has now become my devotion, it has become my life already. So I told God at that moment that if I loose the chance to become a nurse in the near future, it would be hard for me to go on for this is the fate or destiny that I chose.
After that serious talk with God, my cellphone beeped. A friend of mine, without me even asking him, offered to help me by lending me the amount of money I needed for my enrollment. He said that he heard about my problem from a common friend of ours and that he is willing to help me. I was stunned right on the spot. Wow, what a quick answer by God! It was just like texting! I told myself and I just found myself later shouting out of jubilation.
One important thing I learned from that experience is that we make our own destiny. God has given us the gift to choose that we possess the power to create our own fate basing on the choices we make in every moment of our lives. God is there for us only to guide us and laid unto us the hundreds of options to choose from. The rest of it lies on our hands. I told God sincerely that I want to become a nurse and that nursing is now already my life and that loosing it means emptiness for me. And yes, he didn't denied it from me. Haaay... I wasted all my time looking and asking God for my purpose, my destiny, and he was right there all along waiting for me to make up my mind and tell him what is it that I really want. If I have known earlier, I should have finished nursing earlier too. But it is not yet too late, 30 is still a young age to graduate. Besides, I feel like my age perpetually stopped at 19. Ha ha ha...
Lastly, another thing I learned from that experience is that never hesitate to pray to God for miracles. Prayer does move mountains. God answers immediately (just like texting! he he he...) to those who pray with sincere hearts.
Thank you God. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Road Trip
Last week, we had our road trip. Yours truly together with my close pals or better known as "The Jugings" decided to travel the narrow road of Iloilo heading south.We just wanted to have a break from the many pressures and tensions going on with our academic life. We thought fresh air, the blazing sun, and the welcoming view of the beach might release all the negative energies and recharge us with positivity once more. After a very short, hasty, and on the spot preparation, of we went!
While we were traveling, laughters filled the car. By the way, we were using Cee's Fortuner and yes, she was the driver too. He he he... But what really made me love that moment was the tranquility that dawned upon me while watching the road and the road side as we went. The scenery of the coastal line on the left side, the hills and trees on the right, and the simplicity of rural living made my soul calm and collected. Another funny moment was when we crossed the bridge of Tigbauan in going to Guimbal wherein we held our breath from the beginning of the bridge until we reach the other side of it. For what purpose? Nothing, just for sheer fun. He he he...
We had two stop overs. First at Poblacion, Miag-ao wherein we just wanted to have a full gaze of the famous Miag-ao Church which is known for its unique and beautiful architecture. Then at San Joaquin wherein we bought some of the spices we needed for the food we were going to cook for lunch.
After almost two hours of speeding in the road, we finally arrived at our destination which was a not so famous beach resort in San Joaquin. The place actually was not that peopled when we got there and its name was kinda funny called "Basa Beach Resort" which in our local dialect "basa" means "wet". What do you expect of course when you swim in a beach? lol!
After settling down in a cottage we paid, we headed on to the beach and did a lot of swimming, rock climbing, and wave counteracting (what a term!). And then by 12, we had our sumptous lunch and then continued swimming afterward. It was fun. I had a lot of good time. We went home 4:30 PM tired yet satisfied. We were maybe physically tired from the experience that day but we knew that deep in our hearts, we were once again recharged with youthful enthusiasm and childlike eagerness.
I hope there will be next.
The Jugings: Ceelina, Leslie, Rena, Tyke, Barbie, Jayson, Earl, Yours truly, & Paul. (Some of the Jugings were not able to made it on this road trip. Next time guys!)
While we were traveling, laughters filled the car. By the way, we were using Cee's Fortuner and yes, she was the driver too. He he he... But what really made me love that moment was the tranquility that dawned upon me while watching the road and the road side as we went. The scenery of the coastal line on the left side, the hills and trees on the right, and the simplicity of rural living made my soul calm and collected. Another funny moment was when we crossed the bridge of Tigbauan in going to Guimbal wherein we held our breath from the beginning of the bridge until we reach the other side of it. For what purpose? Nothing, just for sheer fun. He he he...
We had two stop overs. First at Poblacion, Miag-ao wherein we just wanted to have a full gaze of the famous Miag-ao Church which is known for its unique and beautiful architecture. Then at San Joaquin wherein we bought some of the spices we needed for the food we were going to cook for lunch.
After almost two hours of speeding in the road, we finally arrived at our destination which was a not so famous beach resort in San Joaquin. The place actually was not that peopled when we got there and its name was kinda funny called "Basa Beach Resort" which in our local dialect "basa" means "wet". What do you expect of course when you swim in a beach? lol!
After settling down in a cottage we paid, we headed on to the beach and did a lot of swimming, rock climbing, and wave counteracting (what a term!). And then by 12, we had our sumptous lunch and then continued swimming afterward. It was fun. I had a lot of good time. We went home 4:30 PM tired yet satisfied. We were maybe physically tired from the experience that day but we knew that deep in our hearts, we were once again recharged with youthful enthusiasm and childlike eagerness.
I hope there will be next.
-oOo-
The Jugings: Ceelina, Leslie, Rena, Tyke, Barbie, Jayson, Earl, Yours truly, & Paul. (Some of the Jugings were not able to made it on this road trip. Next time guys!)
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