Just Like Texting

I was talking about fate, destiny, and the likes in my past blog entries more often lately. I was questioning the purpose of my existence in this world and the direction that my life is leading to. Very deep huh? Yeah, I do get very philosophical sometimes that after my philosophical trance I usually tap and ask myself if the real Romerei is already back in his body. But one thing I love every time I am possessed with the "philosophical me" is the soliciting and pondering of questions the "real me" usually takes for granted. Questions which I think are very vital not just to keep me sane and anchor me to reality but likewise to keep me whole as a being.

In quest for my fate and purpose, God answered me recently with such clarity that I do get amaze every time I recall the way he laid the answers on me. But before I plunge to that portion of the story, I think it is better that I should make the matter clear first why I keep on fussing about the purpose of my existence in this planet and about my fate. You see, I've been around in this earth for already 28 years and my journey in this life is nothing but an endless wandering, no sense of direction at all. I've tried so many things in my life and a lot of events have already molded me into what I am now but still I haven't found the one that I am looking for. The thing that would make me satisfy and give me the sense of meaning. I used to ask God about all these things and for years I didn't get any answer from him. And so for years too life for me was nothing but an endless questioning and searching.

Until recently, a big realization had dawned upon me. It started with a problem regarding my schooling. It was the last day of enrollment at that time for second semester and I still didn't have the money for it because of some complicated problems that my aunt,who is also my benefactress, had encountered in the States. So she wasn't able to send me the money I needed. It worried me big time that I almost reached the point to freak out and wail. But of course, I didn't do that. Instead I calmed myself and prayed to God sincerely. I asked Him to make some miracles for me right at that moment. Why? A voice in my head asked me instantly and I was like groping for an answer for a few minutes. I searched my heart and the only answer I could find there was the desire that I want to become a registered nurse in the future. It may sound like I'm a hypocrite but I really wanted to care for the sick and serve humanity in my own humble way. Nursing is the path that I chose to tread on in order for me to become God's channel of his love and care. The profession has now become my devotion, it has become my life already. So I told God at that moment that if I loose the chance to become a nurse in the near future, it would be hard for me to go on for this is the fate or destiny that I chose.

After that serious talk with God, my cellphone beeped. A friend of mine, without me even asking him, offered to help me by lending me the amount of money I needed for my enrollment. He said that he heard about my problem from a common friend of ours and that he is willing to help me. I was stunned right on the spot. Wow, what a quick answer by God! It was just like texting! I told myself and I just found myself later shouting out of jubilation.

One important thing I learned from that experience is that we make our own destiny. God has given us the gift to choose that we possess the power to create our own fate basing on the choices we make in every moment of our lives. God is there for us only to guide us and laid unto us the hundreds of options to choose from. The rest of it lies on our hands. I told God sincerely that I want to become a nurse and that nursing is now already my life and that loosing it means emptiness for me. And yes, he didn't denied it from me. Haaay... I wasted all my time looking and asking God for my purpose, my destiny, and he was right there all along waiting for me to make up my mind and tell him what is it that I really want. If I have known earlier, I should have finished nursing earlier too. But it is not yet too late, 30 is still a young age to graduate. Besides, I feel like my age perpetually stopped at 19. Ha ha ha...

Lastly, another thing I learned from that experience is that never hesitate to pray to God for miracles. Prayer does move mountains. God answers immediately (just like texting! he he he...) to those who pray with sincere hearts.

Thank you God. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!