The Ultra-Amazing Super Jim

For years I have kept this secret in the deepest recesses of my soul. No breathing thing on this planet have I ever confided it for the reason that I wanted to protect those people I love from the curse of this secret. But unless I bare myself to the world, I will be forever caged in this clandestine that is starting to swallow my being. And so I decided, that it is now the ripe time for me to reveal this secret to all. The secret that yours truly is.......

................... none other than the ultra-amazing SUPER JIM!!! (Kabooooommmm!!!)

Yes dear friends, I am a superhero. And not just your typical superhero because I don't just stop a train that has lost control, or save a baby from a burning apartment building, or help an old woman get back her snatched purse from the filthy scoundrel, but I also do special things that will complete your day.

-oOo-

Are you having problem with those "medusas"? I am referring to those women who sit beside you in public use jeepnies and let their long unkempt dry hair slap your face while the PUJ takes speed to the point that your face reddens like that of a tomato? Well, have no fear, or should I say don't get mad, because SUPER JIM is here!

If I am in a good mood, I'll just talk with that woman in a nice way and ask her, "Excuse me miss, your hair have been slapping this person's face for almost a time now. And your shampoo doesn't even smell good, not to mention those split ends that are pricking his/her face like barb wires. So could you please, for the salvation of the whole world and your poor soul, keep your hair away from his/her visage?"

Now if I'm in a bad mood, I'll say nothing 'cause I'll just tie those hair without her knowing it, to the hand rail of the jeepney. There, that will keep those hair in place and eventually, the owner too! Har har har...

-oOo-

You're queuing in a long line for the ATM machine when suddenly, an impertinent moron from out of nowhere enters the queue ahead of you. You and the rest of those poor people lining after you are infuriated with this arrogant move to the point that your blood boils like a lava. Cool yourself, SUPER JIM comes to the rescue!

If I'm in a good mood, I'll just approach that person, look at him/her directly in the eye and ask whether he/she have had a Values Education subject before. If he/she will answer "yes", then I'll just remind him/her of the phrase that even my preschool cousin knows by heart that our values education teachers kept on repeating when we were still kids and that is: "Fall in line and wait for your turn!" If he/she will say "no" then I'll be glad to offer him my free good etiquette tutorial service. If ever he/she will answer "I forgot", God forbid me but I will just hit him/her in the face then I'll just said "Oops, I forgot my right manners and proper conduct. Sorry..."

Now, If I'm in a bad mood, I'll just step hard on whichever foot of his/her, and then push him/her on the side as he/she whimpers from pain. Then I'll just stand still as if nothing happened. If he/she will fight back, then it's time to use my Karate skills. Hiyaaaa..... If not, I'll just ignore the moron.

-oOo-

You see, your superhero here can do more aside from those things mentioned above. All you've got to do is shout for my name, as in shout to the point that your throat vibrates and dehydrates, and I will be surely there to help you. Don't worry, my service is free of charge, but I would say no if you'll offer me a cup of coffee and a pizza as a gratitude for my goodness. He he he...

Wait... I hear someone screaming my name for help. I think I'll just leave you here for the meantime my avid followers. I've got some saving to do. And by the way, before I go, for the sake of protecting my private life against those paparazzi, please lets keep this as a secret, okay? Thank you ever dearest confidants.

Up up and away!!!!!!